The Diary of a Serial Dieter.

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It hits you like a ton of bricks. You don’t know how you got to this point, when it got this bad, where you went wrong and how you never noticed until now. Maybe you went to the doctor and had to step on the scale, maybe you were tagged in a less than flattering photo on Facebook. For me it was when my size 16 jeans wouldn’t zip.
Maybe “a ton of bricks” is a bit of an exaggeration. I noticed I was gaining weight. I didn’t like the way my clothes fit. I hated that I had to buy a size 16. I tried to ignore it, wear leggings and baggy shirts and convince myself that look was “in”. Honestly I do know how I got to that point. It was simple, a series of small bad choices made almost daily.
I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I’m a serial dieter, yo-yo-ing constantly. My closet consists of pants ranging from size 4 to 16 if that tells you anything. I was a chubby kid. My mother, who has never struggled with her weight, had no idea how to handle my father’s genetics creeping up on me. She remembers seeing the change after I was repeatedly put on steroids one year as a child but I think I was destined to have this struggle. My father has Type 2 Diabetes along with the majority of his family. I have a grandmother who had open heart surgery as well as Diabetes on the other side of my family. After her surgery she got healthy and would take me on walks. She always told me that I got dealt a shitty hand and I would have to work twice as hard as my friends to maintain a healthy weight.
So I did. I really can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t on a diet. I packed Diet Cokes and Snack Wells in my lunches during grade school, graduating to Slim Fast in Middle School and Junior High.

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Something awesome happened in High school, I got mono! I lost 20 lbs and besides not being able to move without throwing up for 2 months, it was amazing! Not wanting to gain the weight back and not wanting my friends to notice that I wasn’t eating, I started my little phase of bulimia. Easiest weight loss program I ever did. Until my friends mom walked in on me throwing up and told my parents. They started monitoring me closely, so I found myself going to gas station bathrooms to throw up. I got pretty thin and my parents knew what was up (and I think the convenience store clerks were suspicious as well) so eventually that all came to an end.

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In college, I quickly packed on the “freshman fifteen”. My mother took me to a weight loss doctor and got me on Xenical. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a “fat-blocking” pill. It literally makes you shit out the fat you eat. That worked well for awhile until I would partake in pizza night and fart grease for 2 days.

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My next venture was Atkins. Twenty pounds lost in about a month! It didn’t last. The very minute I ate a French fry, the carbs took over my body and I gained forty pounds. I swear it happened almost exactly like
that…for the most part.

In my mid-twenties I went to a Bariatrician and was put on Phentermine, some other speed pill and a high dose of Thyroid. Rapid weight loss alongside crazy bitchiness. But I stuck with it, losing fifty pounds and finding myself screaming at my boyfriend for not putting his spoon in the dishwasher.

20140304-101145.jpg I also decided to go very blonde in my crazy-pants state.
My semi-psychotic life seemed great, after all, this was what I wanted, I had lost weight easily and I looked good… until I got pregnant. I gained almost 80lbs. Crazy how that weight comes on when you have to eat again.

20140304-102356.jpg I got less crazy and went brunette.

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After my son stopped nursing I got back on the Phentermine. I was losing weight for about two weeks until I found out I was pregnant again. Determined not to gain an additional eighty pounds, I met with a nutritionist who told me to simply cut out salt and eat 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. So I did and I actually lost weight during that pregnancy despite growing a 9.6 lb boy inside me.

20140304-103147.jpg I kept up the healthy eating after giving birth and lost weight rapidly for the 6 weeks before I had Mirena birth control installed, for lack of a better term, in me. I don’t know what it is about me and birth control but I gained 26 lbs in a little over a month, not changing any of my healthy eating. I decided to try to fight the weight gain, after having two boys fifteen months apart, I would rather fight the birth control weight than the pregnancy weight.
I started running. I quit running. I started dieting. I quit dieting. I started running again. I quit running again. I started dieting.
I think society has this idea that someone who is overweight, sits on their butt all day and eats chocolate and cheese-fries. It’s not the case. I cooked my family healthy meals. We had occasional deserts but nothing that a normal, healthy family doesn’t eat. I never ate breakfast, was usually too busy for lunch and I would snack while cooking dinner and then be full. How was I fat? I never ate!

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Apparently that was my problem. Through my yo-yo-ing I had ruined my body and my metabolism. After seeing my friend dieting, exercising and losing forty pounds the right way. I reached out. I joined one of her challenge groups and learned so much. I have to fuel my body, I have to retrain my metabolism and I have to eat enough food to do this. After eating clean and drinking Shakeology for one of my 6 daily meals for 21 days I had lost twelve pounds. I like Shakeology because it’s not a weight loss drink (I’m through with the quick and easy route) it’s lots of nutritious super foods and it gets me my daily serving of fruits and veggies which is hard to squeeze in every day. So I kicked it up a notch after my 21 day challenge. I started doing P90X3 workouts in the comfort of my own home. No meatheads at the gym, no seemingly judging eyes, no self-conscious thoughts that had made me quit in the past. Just thirty minutes a day, six days a week. I was amazed at the results after just two weeks!

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As mortifying as those pictures are, they serve as motivation for me to keep pushing every day. That and my awesome Beachbody Coach that holds me accountable, puts me in challenge groups, gives me meal plans and supports me even when I struggle, especially when I struggle.
I’ve been at this since December 2nd. And I’m blown away at what I can accomplish when I put my mind to it. I’ve lost 24 lbs and 20 inches. I’m down 3 pants sizes, going from a 16 to a 10 and I’m still going strong.

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If you’re interested in Shakeology, P90X3, other Beachbody workouts or having your own coach and accountability click here.

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3 thoughts on “The Diary of a Serial Dieter.

  1. Thank you for putting this out there, keep it up and keep posting! You are an inspiration. I have also had much trouble with birth control weight gain, as well as weight gain after back surgery (ruptured a disk during an Insanity workout). I will be starting a modified P90x3 workout tomorrow. Wish me luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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